A Lengthy Post About Moccasins

Moccasins are they best type of shoe. There is rarely a situation in which it is not appropriate to wear moccasins. Well, maybe not rarely.

I have owned many pairs of moccasins in my life, starting with a white beaded pair that I rocked at age 6.

There were the fringed ankle boot moccasins I got the summer before third grade. My grandmother bought them for me in some tacky, typically Up North gift shop. As I was at the peak of my Little House on the Prairie obsession, I was head over leather heels for them.

There was my first pair of shearling hard sole slippers that I wore to the death starting in high school with my uniform and ending two summers ago when they became camp shoes. Over time the lining became absolutely revolting. The rubber soles wore until they were bald, causing many a slip on icy campus sidewalks and kitchen floors. My mother was always on my case about those things. She never missed an opportunity to remind me that I was wearing SLIPPERS in PUBLIC.

My next pair was a fringy, actual-shoe variety from Kirkey's. I coveted those things for months before I finally bought them. Over time, salt and moisture have caused the fringe to flip up a little, especially in the back by my heels. These moccasins are wonderful. The unending fringe has always reminded me of the "dryer monster" in the car wash (see photo). Now considered my weekend beater moccasins, I still sport these proudly.

This year we discovered The Country's Largest Moccasin Store in Coldwater. Heaven. On. Earth. Huge warehouse of moccasins. I about died. In the past six months I've purchased two pairs. Both were expensive.

The first was a new pair of gorgeous shearling slippers, this time without hard soles so I won't be tempted to wear them outside and ruin them. Putting them on at the end of a day on your feet is a positively ethereal experience.

The second installments are moose hide and very practical. They look like grandma shoes. To my delight, I can get away with teaching in them because they're very unassuming. The leather is the softest I've ever felt. They are divine. I'm forcing myself to take care of them so they'll last.

Are you honestly surprised that I was able to write that much about moccasins?

Hey, what was good enough for the Indians is good enough for me.

If you read this you deserve a pat on the back.

Homie wanna kick it but know I don't play soccer,

MLA