Napkins

Since the stuff I'm about to write about in this post is way too important to ever have been forgotten, I wrote my ideas on a napkin throughout yesterday and this morning. I have never once written anything on a napkin, so this was a first.

Anyway, here is what so desperately needed to be remembered for later:

- I recently saw two very negative church signs. "Dusty bibles lead to dirty lives" and "Dear God, I have a problem - it's me." Gotta love the guilt. I know that's what God's all about, after all. I mean, Jesus made people feel guilty on a daily basis. I'll never understand.

- I dislike small dogs. A dog is a dog. Dogs are descendants of wolves, and wolves are massive and badass. Breeding dogs so tiny that the word "teacup" is included in their name is an unnatural practice. How in the world can you play frisbee with a dog if it's smaller than the frisbee? And why would you want to carry your dog around everywhere? For fuck's sake have a kid if that's what you want, or at the very least buy yourself a baby doll. NOT the point of having a dog.

- I just enjoyed the best lunch ever. Leftover Mexican from Los Tres with an ice cold cerveza. I realize it is not even noon. Not pathetic. This is how the Europeans do lunch, right? Right...

- I also do not like Shania Twain.

- It pleases me to think that a napkin with "napkins, little dogs, church signs, lunch, Shania Twain" written on it will soon be floating around in some faraway landfill.

Aren't you smarter now for having read all that?

Figured as much.

I'm that Red Bull. Now let's fly away,

MLA