Can You Help Me? I Can't Find My Brain

That title is from an Ozzie Osbourne song.

And while I may be able to use my brain to remember Ozzie Osbourne lyrics and apply them to a blog post, I am unable to use it to spell words.

I used to be an excellent speller. I can't drive a stick, do long division or hit a golf ball, but my incompetence at any of these things was always made up for by my ability to spell English words quickly and accurately. As a kid I won three class spelling bees and habitually produced 100% spelling tests. I am not sure what chemicals I was exposed to between the ages of 10 and 21 because now my spelling knowledge (and vocabulary in general) have gone to shit.

Here is a list of words that have given me trouble recently:

resurrected
siren
catapult
jalapeno
cabinet

Yup. College education.

My mama didn't raise no fool,

MLA