Salutations, Ssssnack

I'm in an autistic impaired room all this week. You'd think this circumstance would produce lots of good quotes. It probably won't because of five students only two are verbal.

However, if I don't churn out some material after spending spending 50 hours in a room full of flapping, galloping little people then I'll be a monkey's uncle. Here is Monday:

- I walk into the room first thing in the morning. Not really sure what to expect. All my questions are quickly answered upon seeing my little friend lying upside down on a stack of beanbag chairs in front of the whiteboard, bare feet on the chalk rail. Pants-Peeing Episode I occurred five minutes later (don't worry, the beanbag chairs are okay). I've never known anyone to pee quite so much as this child did today. But at least she didn't do it on a sliding glass door, in a ditch, on the floor of the Apartments, in a bed with a significant other or on my 90s dance CD, which is more than I can say for some of my peers.

- same kid sits on a T chair during group and circle time. T chair is basically just two very short 2-by-4's bolted together in a T shape. Function: autistic kid sits in chair, uses up so much energy just to stay balanced that he or she doesn't raise hell around the classroom. Works well if the kid can and wants to balance. This child does not. This child drunkenly stumbles/leans/topples over onto indignant classmates during calendar time. Honestly, a lot of funny shit has happened to me in my short teaching career, and I've never laughed so hard in a classroom as I did at this scenario. I about died. Ask for a demo sometime if you'd like to fully appreciate the humor.

- Pants Peeing Episode II happened directly after this. I had to clean this one up, so it wasn't quite as entertaining. Had to tackle naked streaking child trying to escape from the bathroom though.

- Donovan is eight. Donovan has pica. Donovan eats everything. Today he ate three erasers and some Playdo. Donovan also has a history of eating: duct tape, the casing on wires (scary!), paint and craft pom-poms. All weirdness aside, I would like to see this child's poop. It probably looks like the inside of a Home Depot.

- another story about Donovan: Donovan is barely verbal. He says about ten words tops and you have to wrench them out of him. However, today while I was sitting at a table he came up to me, got within an inch of my face and yelled, "LIPS!"

I love these kids.

Ciao bella!