Why am I so Angry Lately?!

Dear Freshman Girls Outside This Window,

Can you please possibly speak in a lower pitch and use better grammar? My wine glass is vibrating and I'm going retarded just from listening to you. And I know the party's theme is GI Joes and Camouflage Hoes, but I can definitely STILL see you and I hope the cops can too, because you are annoying.

Sincerely,

MLA