Let's Pretend

People who act like they're too old to use their imaginations really grind my gears.

College students these days are too caught up in the type of "creativity" that encompasses thinking up a research topic or an innovative way to transport alcohol.

Fuck that. Find a box and play in it. Maybe I've got some sort of schizophrenia, but whenever I do something or go somewhere I'm almost always pretending: when I walk to class, I'm trekking through the rain forest. When I drive, I'm a pioneer travelling cross-country in a covered wagon. There are a billion ways to use the human brain. Why are we using it for all the boring things?

This post was partially inspired by the upcoming O'Hollow's Eve. My favorite childhood holiday has been defiled by the social climate and expectations of university culture. The double standard for Halloween (or costumes in general - hello, theme parties!) on a college campus is maddening. Guys can be any ridiculous, random, hysterical thing they want. If you're a girl, well, we suppose you can be something moderately funny, but you'd better whore it up as well. You'd better be a slutty fireman or a slutty Greek goddess or a slutty cowgirl. The sexuality of a costume must take priority over authenticity. Nothing should be overly clever. All you really have to do for your presence and costume effort to be valued is show some skin.

Sorry to all you perennial Halloween Hooter's girls, but you = boring. Don't go out in your underwear and say you're a Victoria's Secret Angel. Whip up some paper maché. Put a little elbow grease into it. You have every weekend of the rest of your college career to earn the approval of frat boys. If anything, let Halloween be the one time of the year when you can stop concentrating on being attractive to men and dust off your real imagination.

When I go to a Halloween party this year, I want to see walruses and cheese and political figures and end tables and chip-"monks" and portayals of American subculture and bananas and scuba divers and Jesus. I want to see Jesus.

Visit the land of make-believe, people. It misses you.