Life as a Tomato...Or Student Teaching

Hi. I'm student teaching fourth grade right now.

That's a loaded statement. The things that have happened in my classroom and in my school during the past three weeks would fill a novel. As far as "serious" or logistical concerns go, I shall boil them down:

1. teachers are clique-y

2. superintendents who've never taught. Ever. That statement speaks for itself. As a result of this particular superintendent's oversights...

3. I have a small country of children (34). It is constantly loud and smelly in my room HOWEVER...

4. ...the kids are wonderful and it makes my heart happy to work with them every day

5. my mentor teacher is kind of a rebel. She consistently bucks the district/principal, has a tramp stamp, tells me about drunken escapades and drives like a fucking maniac (right in front of the school)

...okay! On to funny shit:

There is a girl in my classroom from Yemen, and her English isn't very strong. Interestingly, she is basically learning English in the hood, which makes for a weird little sassy black girl/Apu from the Simpsons-type accent. There's something startling (and hilarious) about hearing "Mmm girl"s and "Daaaaang"s coming out of this small, veiled Muslim child's mouth.

Anyway, this exchange happened between her, Maleka, and India, who is African American. Once again, the significance of the stanky leg to my students' lives:

India: Maleka, you can't even do the stanky leg!
Maleka: (wheels clearly turning, trying to think of something to retort in English, in Middle Eastern accent) Uh, it's not important!

Monday, while sitting at my desk grading:

Kayla: Miss L! Look! I'm a mannequin! (stands motionless for 30 seconds, then turns and runs away)

also Kayla, during a completely unrelated literature discussion:

Kayla: (excitedly raising hand for 5 minutes) Miss L! I can make a hotdog AND a bologna sandwich!

Yesterday I was helping a student when her table mate stuck a sticky note on me that said "the best," which I unwittingly walked around with all day. During the first week of school someone stuck a note on my forehead that said "teacher." It could be worse.

I have an extremely bright student who, unfortunately, is bored a lot of the time. When she finishes early, we usually just have her write in her writing notebook. Last week during math she wrote a 4 page story about the life of a tomato. And actually made it sound exciting.

And I hate tomatoes.

TIRED OF TYPING.

TIRED IN GENERAL.

SOMEONE ELSE BLOG.

Go back to your seat and work quietly,

Miss L