That Thing

Clichés I never quite understood:

1. Drunk people with lampshades on their heads. I've seen empty beer cases, mullet wigs, cowboy hats for sure. But never a lampshade. Is this something people do in the real world? It's always referenced.

2. Naked people wearing barrels. Welp, looks like someone stole my clothes. What can I use to cover myself? Oh, I know. This handy 70-gallon wooden barrel that just HAPPENS to be lying here. I'll just affix some suspenders and call it good. Whew. That was easy.

I wish I could find some higher-quality comestibles in this joint. A steak sounds nice.

"I don't like cake. On my birthday, I just ate ice cream. And socks."
- Corey, 2nd grade