I'm so far past my physical prime that it makes me ill. Just a few short years ago I weighed 115 pounds and could run a 7:13 mile. I didn't drink pop or alcohol and was crazy about vegetables and lean protein. I thought I wanted to become a nutritionist. My stomach was flat, my teeth were white, my calves were impressive and I only had one chin. Whaaaaaat happened?
College. I have no choice but to eat crap in the cafeteria and have no money to buy my own healthy food. I rarely exercise because my days are consumed with sitting - in class, at work, and in front of my computer. I could go work out, but running without the motivation of a ball to chase after or team to support seems utterly pointless to me. The combination of eating what is, essentially, poop on a stick every day and lying around constantly zaps me of any energy, so I turn to my beloved Monsters and (the horror) pop for a caffeine fix. There's always the temptation of Taco Bell and the ocassional Black & Mild, and did I mention I've taken up drinking as a frequent recreational activity?
The 17-year-old buff MLA is rolling in her hypothetical grave. I'm starting to resemble a familiar Star Wars character and it's terrifying. I am 20 years old! I have a beer gut! My arms have turned to flab! I'm not ready to die of heart failure yet! NOOOOOO!
I know, I know. I should get up off my ass and do something about it. Wait, maybe I'll...nope, not worth it.
2 comments:
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull
Just smoke more pot. It boosts your metabolism, so as long as you control the munchies it's a handy weight loss tool. And it's a lot more fun than running.
Today's healthy living tip brought to you by MW.
Post a Comment