OK Seriously. ALL We Think About is Taco Bell

Alex: (giggling ominously) Haha, tacobell.com has Mad Lib love letters.
Me: (in the process of secretively typing one, trying to contain my laughter) OH MY GOD! How did you know!?

Hey there Emily,

I'm just dropping a line to say I love you. I do. Really. No joke.

But not in THAT way. Don't be gross. Actually, thinking about that makes me want to romp. We're like siblings. No, I love you in the way that a man loves his fountain or a girl loves her colander. I love a lot of things more than you, too. Like the new Cheesy Beefy Melt at Taco Bell. But you're cool too. You've been there for me for years. Like that time we went to Uranus and juggled that gnome. Man, that was crazy. Or that time we made your dad so fruity he excavated all over his favorite wheelchair.

So yeah, I love you. Again, not in a limber way. Deal with it.

Later,

Alex

Oh, that time on Uranus when we juggled that gnome.