This is a long post about sports, specifically a sport I play. If you have no interest, don't read.
Today I realized that I participate in a very strange and, from a spectator's perspective, boring sport. I love it to death, but lacrosse can be downright dumb.
If I had never seen women's lacrosse before, I would think it was absolutely ridiculous. Perhaps most noticeably, we wear skirts. I'm somewhat grateful for the breeze and wedgie prevention that these garments provide, but I still think it's a bit outdated and silly. To me, the skirts make lacrosse less of a sport and more of a game - a "cute" game in which appearances and femininity are stressed. Yeah, I know lax kilts are "traditional", but we could just as easily play in shorts. You don't see female soccer or softball players running around in skirts anymore. It's not exactly necessary.
Secondly, women's lacrosse is quite possibly the slowest field sport on the planet. I don't mean slow in that we run slowly, or that the ball moves slowly - you're basically sprinting the whole time, and anything you do with the ball is quick and accurate. What truly makes the game slow is the constant stoppage of play because of penalties and rule infractions. Unlike the melee of blood and guts that constitutes men's lacrosse, the women's game is incredibly sissy. We can't touch each other at all. Defense in girls' lacrosse is basically running alongside the person you're defending and praying that they don't blow by you or beat you with stick work. You can stick check, but it's pretty difficult not to get called for it because of the personal "bubble". Yes, seriously. In this sport, each girl has an invisible area around her head that no one can enter. If a player is cradling (that's stick handling, or carrying the ball) close to their body, there's nothing you can do about it, and it's basically up to the discretion of the ref as to how the bubble's size is defined. Another rule that gives me fits is dangerous shooting. Um, I'm sorry, but if someone is shooting and you're in the way, you're going to get hit. We don't need rules to protect stupid people or people who knowingly put themselves in the line of fire. In real sports like hockey and soccer, players willingly get in front of opposing shots to block them. It's called taking one for the team.
Don't ask me how, but somehow in the past three years someone touched someone else in some women's lax game and that person lost an eye and now we have to wear goggles. They are hideous, impede peripheral vision, and produce fantastically retarded tan lines (they may be seen on the girl next to me in the photo). I personally have never been smacked in the face with a lacrosse ball or know anyone who has. That's the point of your stick - you're supposed to catch that ball flying towards your head.
If you do get a penalty in lacrosse (which happens about every 0.4 seconds), the whistle blows and whoever you happened to inconvenience gets the ball. You have to back four meters away from that person so it's fair and they get a head start. Psh, whatever. An actual meter is also up the ref's discretion, as I've been repositioned like 20 feet away from the person. This rule can literally turn games around. If you're defending someone who has a clear shot and you get called for something totally accidental, then you're playing catch up and they can easily score. It sucks. Also, don't let the ball hit your body, because that's clearly an advantage and you'll get called. For the ball smacking you in the leg. After all, we can't let people gain advantages in sports unless they're "officially" given.
I love playing girls' lacrosse and I loved playing girls' hockey. But it frustrates me that our game is prevented from progressing because of all the "safety" rules we have to deal with. I'm a firm believer that if girls' sports were just as physical as boys', the speed and skill level would be significantly higher. Since there's no threat of being slammed, we have more time to react and make decisions. Safer? Yes, but we'll never progress if we are not challenged. Assuming we're competing against girls of the same age and ability, there should be no reason why we can't play physically.
In conclusion, if you are attending a women's lacrosse game for the first time, expect to see lots of skirts, hear lots of whistles and to quickly become very confused and frustrated at the lack of flow.
The end.
5 comments:
Ok, I agree you should work hard to eliminate any rules which impede the ability of one girl to touch another. We want to lots of hits, punches, hair pulling and scratching. It would be most preferable if these activities would degenerate into wrestling around on the pitch. Smooching, chest bumps and some healthy ass slapping after successful goal also gets a thumbs up. As to your notion for shorts over skirts, that’s just crazy talk. Who would watch? I don’t watch women’s basketball, track or softball. I do watch women’s tennis. Why, because of the skirt. If you want to get rid of something, then keep the skirt and ditch the panties. (The correct term is panties, the term underwear is reserved for a white cotton brief that tops out above the navel and completely covers the buttocks, further this style is only worn once a month for about a week.) Now I know this sounds sexist and objectifying, it should because it is, men are sexist and objectifying. We are also easily manipulated, so women should embrace these qualities and just lead us around by the short hairs, that way everyone is happy.
cdl
Wow...
He is such an asshole sometimes.
No seriously, just sometimes.
I used to play and the girls would play their games right before us. Well, I decided to be nice and support them during their first game, Big Mistake. Like you said it was boring. The thing that really makes it terrible for the girls is that they are not allowed to have a pouch. I think they should allow one and hitting, because it would just make the game so much better. During one of our games though there were two girls playing, well physically girls but structurally men. They did pretty good, so it just goes to show that girls can play in the physical game as well.
UGH! Not having a pocket is also very frustrating. I cheat though after stick check, I get my netting wet and stretch it out with my feet when the ref's not looking.
I considered playing men's lacrosse this year. I think my skills would be OK, but I'd be lacking on speed because the boys are much faster. I've also kind of had enough of the all-male sports teams for this year.
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