Arrrr! Ahoy Matey!

1. Nothing goes better with popcorn than Capri Sun.

2. I always feel sorry for people when they're walking their dog and it starts to poop. It's a really embarrassing circumstance. You're totally in the public eye, just standing around with this bag in your hand, waiting to pick up a living creature's shit. It sucks. I feel your pain.

3. I wouldn't mind being a pirate. It would be cool to live on the high seas collecting doubloons and booty and drinking grog with maybe a parrot or monkey or two. I wouldn't even mind having a peg leg, hook or eyepatch. In fact, all three would be totally badass. Besides all that, I'd get a great tan. Heck, screw teaching. New career path! Though, if I were a pirate, I don't think I'd be too keen on the whole raping and pillaging thing. Not much of a raper, or pillager.