I Love Madlibs

Bringing Home the Good...Or is it Bad?...News

Dear Parent,
Here is Milton's report card for the explosive eighth grade. He has received an "I" in English, a "T" in math and an "A" in social alters. Unfortunately, we could not give passing corduroys in butt education because his broken nad prevented the taking of the final ironing board. This tipsy class can be made up in our summer shower cap. The school believes that a parent-boot conference is necessary to discuss Milton's vast behavior. He continues to draw frickin' pictures on the bathroom croque monsieur and talks drunkenly behind the teacher's jugular vein. Please call the principal's rubber glove for an artificial appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Ms. Kat
Head Gondola Driver

Rules for Riding on the School Bus

1. Every morning, your bus runs a tacky route, so you must be sure that you arrive at your local neck brace early.
2. While waiting, do not lick in the middle of the street. You might get run over by a perpendicular hairball.
3. When you see the bus, wave your tumor.
4. Before boarding, make sure you have all of your fertilized books and your urine cup.
5. When you get on the bus, do not push or jostle any of the smaller legs. Go to the nearest empty seat and gank.
6. Do not talk to the crusty toe while the bus is in motion.
7. Do not throw loin clothes at the other students.
8. Instead of wasting time by hurtling through the ages, use the trip to study your hair bumps.


The above are copyright Emily, Maggie and all of the 2002-2003 Ice Dogs.

Written on the 15-hour bus ride to Connecticut in December 2002.