The Gospel of Freshman Year

In the beginning, Sam and Emily created 333 Wesley Hall, henceforth known as The 333. At first, The 333 was formless and empty with walls of harsh, bare beige, and the spiries and poltatguests were hovering over the cold tile floor.

And Sam said, "Let there be friends, to amuse us in this place." So Sam made friends of all shapes and sizes, and they eventually became Emily's friends too, and then everyone was friends with everyone else - and more.

Many of these friends were male, and could often be found in The 333 dipping, eating Doritos and playing NBA Jam on Sega Genesis. The male friends enjoyed The 333. They put up a new Playboy centerfold every month, moved in a mattress and dubbed in the "Mantress", and enjoyed putting things like beer can tabs and egg rolls into the fish tank.

Then the friends said, "Let us consume alcohol in this place." And they did. Alcohol flowed freely through The 333, and all was merry and gay. The creatures lived in drunken harmony, frolicking, playing Super Nintendo and lounging upon the Mantress.

And it was good.


(For the record, I am not holding a bag of cocaine in the above picture. It is puppy chow.)