Dreeeeamweaver...

So, I had this crazy dream last night. This is a stream of consciousness post, so beware:

It was the summer of 2006 again at camp. The entire staff took a trip to Mackinac Island, except Mackinac Island was in Flint. For some reason we ended up being forced to go to mass at a Catholic church. Of course, with camp being predominantly comprised of bleeding-heart liberal atheists, we found this situation to be quite ridiculous. We were soon engaging in some exremely disruptive shenanigans. Think tightrope-walking on the backs of pews, throwing hymnals, singing along with the priest like Celine Dion, etc. We are exceptional role models.

The church folk didn't take to this so well. Some of us who had been particularly loud and crazy (guess who they were) were simply thrown out of the church. Then this Sunday school teacher-ish nun came and tried to punish the rest of us by making us copy stuff out of the bible and write an apology to the congregation for being disrespectful.

This is the point where I started to go blind. I always go blind in my dreams, it's so inconvenient. Anyway, so I was obviously having trouble finishing my bible verses and my written apology. The nun kept trying to make me write smaller and more neatly. Finally I was just like, "Bitch, I'm going BLIND!"

I remember using a lot of white out. Ali and the other Kristen (not Nascief) were painting their nails with it. Then Heather Raab, being the ever-ready health officer that she is, gave me a stack of Newsweek magazines and was like, "Here, read these and see if they help your sight come back."

Then someone who shall remain unnamed tried to make out with the nun.

Then I was driving back from Flint in GL (I could see again, the Newsweeks must've worked), and I ended up getting lost in Swartz Creek. I went to turn around in the first driveway-type thing I could find, which was apparently the entrance to the Swartz Creek National Park (?). The driveway was so small that my only option was to back out onto the road. Well, it was a pretty busy street, and I ended up waiting like 20 minutes to back out. Of course, me being so impatient, I thought, "Fuck this, I can turn around in here. I have a small car." So I attempt to do a U-ey in this driveway and what happens? I drive right off the side of this massive cliff.

As I'm falling through the air in my car, I start praying for my life. The last thing I said was, "I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention in church!"

THE END