A few anecdotes:1. I once caught my uncle watching JJ the Jet Plane. He said he put it on for the cat. Pfff. This is the same uncle who was on Unsolved Mysteries. He was a policeman and he had one line. He looked in a cabinet, found a body and said "Detective?"
2. My stepmother's most embarrassing moment was when she was drunk and skipping backwards in front of a Chinese restaurant and she fell into a hole some workmen were digging. Everyone in the restaurant and everyone on the street saw her.
3. My dad used to go hunting with his best friend David Orr and David's dad when he was a kid. Mr. Orr was an alcoholic and liked to get drunk before taking the boys out hunting. One time my dad and David were up in their treestand during rifle season when they heard tires squealing from up on the hill where they'd left the car. They hurried over there and found Mr. Orr (totally wasted of course) attempting to drive back to camp. However, there was a small problem - he had ran the car into a stump. Totally oblivious, he continued to floor the gas pedal, unaware that he wasn't actually driving 80 on the highway. My dad ran up to the car and threw open the door. Mr. Orr causally glanced at my dad, not wanting to take his eyes from the road, and said:
"What the hell are you doing here?"
4. My grandmother got pulled over for speeding once. Being the huge flirt that she is, when the officer came up she said "Oh, I bet you just want to sell me tickets to the policeman's ball."
The officer looked right at her and solemnly replied, "No ma'am, state troopers don't have balls."
2 comments:
god this made me laugh so so hard.
Who are you people?
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