To the little bastard who broke my heart in the fourth grade because your fragile male ego couldn't handle the fact that I could Rollerblade better than you, I will find you and end you. Fuck you and your bowl cut. Yeah, well, I know we all had them back then, but yours was the roundest, pussiest bowl cut ever. And you probably still have it, and have to wear a hairnet over it when your fatass goes into work at Wendy's to support your rabid Star Wars paraphernalia habit, and as you're awkwardly flipping burgers I bet you reminisce about the adorable girl you cheated on in the roller rink at the age of nine. Yes, that girl, the one who is now wittily bantering around at the age of 21 with flowing golden locks and big boobs (well, golden locks at least). Boy, you missed out. If you liked it than you shoulda put my goddamn name on your Trapper Keeper, you chode. Oh yes. I hope you're reading this, Fourth Grade Boyfriend, because YOU SUCK.
1 comment:
this is one of the funniest things i have ever read.
xokate
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